Ask a Worklife Coach - Dealing with Disappointment

Dear Worklife Coach, 


I was recently passed up for a promotion to someone else in the department who has been with the company fewer years than I have and this was a position that I know very well because I worked closely with the individual who left. I am very disappointed in the decision and think the company is devaluing my skills. Should I look for another job? And how will I be able to work with this person who has stolen this job from me?
Undermined

Dear Undermined,

The fact that you applied for the job and got as far as the final interview deserves kudos. Dealing with disappointment is an important skill we need as is rampant in the workplace. First, ask yourself (on a scale of 1 to 10) how dissatisfied you are as a whole? Remove the disappointment factor of the current situation. In other words, do you like your job? Do you like what you do? If you answered yes to either of the questions, or your level of dissatisfaction is below 6, then re-think how you can adjust to the situation. Here are three ways:

1.       Accept the decision – acceptance means that you understand the decision that was made and you will look at the future with a positive outlook.
2.       Adjust your attitude – now that you have accepted the circumstances, change your attitude. The good news is that you can change YOUR behavior, emotions, and feelings. Winston Churchill said, “Attitude is a little thing that makes a big difference.” Make a difference and start with changing how you think.
3.       Acknowledge – if you can do the first two, this will be easy. Recognize that this person was chosen for a reason, so give your new boss a chance.  

Once you can accept, adjust, and acknowledge, you can think logically and not let your emotions jeopardized your professionalism. Don’t let others behavior dictate yours.  If all else fails, seek new employment.

Got a question? Email worklifecoach@excite.com or Tweet #worklifecoach

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